My Heart Eats Beats

Wed, 29 Jul 2009 18:51:31 GMT

Currently:

I'm dreading Friday. The day I come home. I'm dreading Virginia. California.... well California is pretty much Paradise. It's ALMOST too perfect. It's a little bit ridiculous though. At the same time, I can't wait to come home. I can't wait to be around something familiar.

The weather here is almost fall like, which is wonderful. I don't think I could ever get sick of the weather. It doesn't rain here, either. Really, there's like... no weather at all. I'm not looking forward to humid downtown Richmond.

I haven't met many people since I've been here. But then again, that's not really the point.

The point is there's no point in why I'm writing this. I lost my train of thought.

Virginia, see you in a few days.

Tue, 28 Jul 2009 00:29:57 GMT

The bay area is so awesome.
I don't want to come home.

Tue, 14 Jul 2009 10:43:27 GMT

Today marks the start of birthday festivities!

Thu, 09 Jul 2009 06:35:55 GMT

My birthday is getting closer.
I'm getting older.
I'm not getting happier.

But hey, it's hard to be happy when you're sinking.

We all make mistakes sometime.

Me as of recent

Mon, 29 Jun 2009 03:10:38 GMT

Currently:

There is no man in my life (I guess that's both a plus and a minus)
I've spent my recent days being bored.
My best friend is in London,
my mom is in Italy.

My birthday is in a little over two weeks.

Had to work today, and we were busy as sin.

And for some REALLY odd reason... I keep making out with dudes who have girlfriends...
but in my defense, I never know they have girlfriends until a few days after. Then I feel like an ass.

and the closer it gets to vacation, the more I'm counting it down!
California, here I come.

and RIP Billy Mayes and MJ.

Sat, 09 May 2009 05:30:04 GMT

"Wish you were here."

... wish I was too.

Sun, 05 Apr 2009 20:10:40 GMT

I guess I don't even know where to start this one, so I am just going to write.

I gave my cat away, and I miss her like crazy. My house feels empty without her.

I know a comedian, who isn't funny when he's not on stage.

and I have a HORRID hangover.
I want to puke.

Tue, 17 Mar 2009 23:29:05 GMT

If you still want me, please forgive me,
the crown of love is not upon me
If you still want me, please forgive me,
'cause the spark is not within me.
it's not within me, it's not within me.

You gotta be the one,
you gotta be the way,
your name is the only word that I can say

Wow.

Sun, 15 Feb 2009 07:24:22 GMT

This made me giggle.

I really wish I remember who I promised to give a ride to!
Being drunk = good times.

and I guess they also lead to Missed connections!

Time for an actual post.

Tue, 27 Jan 2009 11:07:33 GMT

And I mean an ACTUAL post.

It's now 6am, and I still haven't been to bed.. and I work at 10am. I guess I just don't plan on sleeping.
Honestly, I don't really know how I feel. I'm not happy, yet I'm not sad. I don't know if what I'm feeling is just contentness either. I miss my mom, and I miss my family. I really do. Lately I've been feeling a little homesick. It's weird. I haven't felt homesick in SO long. I have the BIGGEST longing to go hangout in my hometown for a day or two. Maybe I'll talk to Bo about it. I'm sure he'd come pick me up. I mean what kinda twin doesn't want to hang out with his other twin?! I feel slightly stressed for no apparent reason. And I have the biggest urge to do something productive.
Working monday - friday isn't exactly helping. I kind of want to try and get a second job.
I guess maybe what I'm feeling is just boredom with my own life. I need to get out of my apartment. I spend like 80% of my time just sitting here, waiting for something to do, somewhere to go.
I've had way too much time to think. And on top of it all, I feel sexually frustrated. Ha.
I need some hobbies.
And writing this kind of makes me feel like I'm in highschool again.

Idea that I stole from josie from a survey that she stole from me in 2003 from a survey that I stole

Tue, 27 Jan 2009 10:45:48 GMT

from some guy named Brendan. WHEW THAT WAS A LOT.
Ahaha, and this is just a little embarassing. Keep in mind... the first survey... is from 2003...

2003!!!

what time did you go to sleep last night?: 10ish.. I was tired.
what was the last noise you heard before you fell asleep?: my little brother and his friend being stupid.
the last thing you said?: What word?
what did you dream about?: i don't remember
do you drool or snore when you sleep?: heh... I drool sometimes
when did you wake up?: 8:35
how did you wake up?: I opened my eyes... lol
what's the first thing that crossed your mind when you woke up?: Shit I gotta clean my room.
when was the last time you took a shower?: this morning
when was the last time you said i love you to the opposite sex and meant it, family doesn't count: Oh man... I dont know.
where was the last place you went outside of your house?: The mountains... I went hikinh.
who was the last friend you saw?: Jerri
who was the last friend you talked to?: Danielle-phone
who's the one person you would die without?: i really don't know
what's your favorite song?: Dying in New Brunswick - Thursday
favorite lyric?: Oh man I'll need to think.
favorite group?: It's a tough choice between Damone and Thursday
favorite album?: Waiting- Thursday.
how many times have you been in love?: .... Once.
are you in love anyone right now?: I dont know...
do they love you back?: ...
if you could kill one person, who would it be?: This one bitch I met at this show... but the question is.... would I get away with it?
how many pillows are on your bed?: Four
what color is the bottle of shampoo you use, and what kind is it?: uh..white and purple... pantine pro-v
what color is the soap you use and kind?: uh it's soap colored... and its soap so there.
what color is your razor?: Blue
what kind of deoderant do you use?: Ban
what kind of cologne/perfume do you wear?: Um... I have this really nice smelling Hawaiian Ginger spray.. mm.
do you use lotion?: sometimes
eh not very long.. I have a habit of biting them when I'm nervous...
how old is the computer you're on?: Uh I dunno
who was the last person to annoy you?: My little brother and his friend
do you believe in God?: to an extent...
how long are the showers you take?: 20 plus minutes
how many showers do you take a week?: god I dont know.
do you love your parents?: yeah I guess...
do you love your siblings?: yeah
what's the worst thing that ever happened to you?: Umm... that mistake I made in september... yeah..
the last time you wished you were dead?: never
the last time you felt important?: Umm... I dont know... last week?
the last time you felt sad because someone close to you was hurting: Just yesterday.
the last time you screamed: Yesterday
have you ever physically hurt yourself?: on accident haha
how smart are you?: Umm I'm average haha but I have bad blonde moments sometimes haha
what person are you extremely attracted to, and not just because of looks?: Nathan..
do you like being outside?: depends where
what one person do you know you could always turn to: there's a few of them.
who do you look up to: my sister.
who's the last person that made you cry?: Jason
is emotional pain or physical pain worse?: emotional
where do you want to live?: Boston... most def.
how many scars are on your body?: um... I'm not gonna take the time to count... I was kind of an accident prone little kid :P
how many people do you love: there's a few :)
who's your best friend(s)?: Jerri, Josie (though I dont see her alot.. but I still can tell her everything :D), Danielle, Danny, Nate, Jennifer.
who do you turn to for advice: My sister
if you could bring back one person from the dead, who would it be?: Kurt Cobain :x
on a scale of 1-10, how happy are you?: 8.5
on a scale of 1-10, how depressed are you?: 1.5
what color are the sheets on your bed?: hehe they're green purple and blue.. they're so great.
how many cds do you own?: tons
What are 3 cd's you wish to own?:
"Thursday" - Waiting (I BROKE MY COPY AHH)
"Tsunami Bomb" - I dont know the name of the CD I want.
"My Chemical Romance" - I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love
what is your greatest regret?: there are a few things I regret right now...
when was the last time you were sick?: I've been sick since last sunday
are you hurting anywhere right now?: my head hurts
what do you wish you were doing right now?: 'i dunno.
when was the last time you had a nightmare?: i dont know
are you talking to anyone right now?: nope
what are you talking about?: uh nothing.. hi mr. nobody
who's the last person you were on the phone with?: Danielle
are you pale?: omg yes.
when was the last time you brushed your hair?: about 15 mins ago
have you ever wanted plastic surgery?: nope
how many screen names do you have?: alot
which one do you use the most? porcelainsummer

NOW

what time did you go to sleep last night?: I haven't gone to bed yet...
what was the last noise you heard before you fell asleep?: I don't even remember! I'm hearing music now!
the last thing you said?: Bye!
what did you dream about?: Posting on some forum!
do you drool or snore when you sleep?: Oh I'm a drooler.
when did you wake up?: 9am!
how did you wake up?: Alarms for work.
what's the first thing that crossed your mind when you woke up?: WHAT TIME IS IT?! and then WTF. It's snowing.
when was the last time you took a shower?: Heh heh ehh... last night I think?
when was the last time you said i love you to the opposite sex and meant it, family doesn't count: Uhhh... I guess when I was still with Efrem?
where was the last place you went outside of your house?: 3rd street for shitty coffee.
who was the last friend you saw?: Brad
who was the last friend you talked to?: Mike via AIM.
who's the one person you would die without?: I'd die without a lot of people.
what's your favorite song?: That's like asking me who my favorite sibling is I can't answer that!
favorite lyric?: That is also a toughie.
favorite group?: Elliott Smith, hands down
favorite album?: XO - Elliott Smith.
how many times have you been in love?: Twice? Unless being in love with my friends counts.
are you in love anyone right now?: Nope!
do they love you back?: If I was in love I would sure hope so
if you could kill one person, who would it be?: No one I suppose.
how many pillows are on your bed?: Four.. still.
what color is the bottle of shampoo you use, and what kind is it?: Garnier! and it's green.
what color is the soap you use and kind?: It's red, and its this pomegranate mango stuff
what color is your razor?: The one right now is green
what kind of deoderant do you use?: Either dove or secret. I mostly go for the secret
what kind of cologne/perfume do you wear?: This Nina Ricci stuff I got for my birthday.
do you use lotion?: Once in a while
how old is the computer you're on?: circa '05! but I bought it in '08
who was the last person to annoy you?: Myself. Since I spend most of my time by myself.
do you believe in God?: I believe in miracles if that counts.
how long are the showers you take?: 20 or less minutes.
how many showers do you take a week?: HAHAHAHA. As if I'm going to answer that.
do you love your parents?: Of course!
do you love your siblings?: Now I love all of them.
what's the worst thing that ever happened to you?: I don't think I can define just one moment.
the last time you wished you were dead?: Ha. Last week when I was sick.
the last time you felt important?: You should ALWAYS feel important. (easier said than done though)
the last time you felt sad because someone close to you was hurting: All the time?
the last time you screamed: December! Well... actually. Maybe the last time I was drunksies.
have you ever physically hurt yourself?: Not on purpose? Unless you count smoking.
how smart are you?: I'd like to think of myself as intelligent in some aspects.
what person are you extremely attracted to, and not just because of looks?: Bwuahaha. I'm not answering that one.
do you like being outside?: When it's not bitter and cold.
what one person do you know you could always turn to: I have a long list!
who do you look up to: my sister... and my mom now.
who's the last person that made you cry?: Efrem maybe.
is emotional pain or physical pain worse?: Emotional.
where do you want to live?: I guess I'm happy in richmond for the moment
how many scars are on your body?: Shit, I don't even know.
how many people do you love: There's a bunch!
who's your best friend(s)?: Casey, Phanessa, Josie, Kate, Brad, Mike, Owen, and the list goes on.
who do you turn to for advice: My friends?
if you could bring back one person from the dead, who would it be?: LOL at my answer in '03. But now I'd bring back my dad.
on a scale of 1-10, how happy are you?: 5.5!
on a scale of 1-10, how depressed are you?: 1.5
what color are the sheets on your bed?: hehe they're green and blue.. they're so average.
how many cds do you own?: Uhm. There's this great thing now that I have called iTunes
What are 3 cd's you wish to own?: I dont even know. If I wanted them I guess I'd have them.
what is your greatest regret?: I've learned not to regret. It only makes me upset.
when was the last time you were sick?: Thursday - now?
are you hurting anywhere right now?: My shoulders hurt.
what do you wish you were doing right now?: 'Sleeping. I have to be up for work soon.....
when was the last time you had a nightmare?: I guess last week?
are you talking to anyone right now?: Nope.
what are you talking about?: ?????
who's the last person you were on the phone with?: Brad.
are you pale?: Still pale.
when was the last time you brushed your hair?: Earlier today?
have you ever wanted plastic surgery?: nope
how many screen names do you have?: Uno.
which one do you use the most? ohrecoveryroom

Wed, 07 Jan 2009 23:11:59 GMT

I'm getting rounder by the minute.

:)

Fri, 02 Jan 2009 20:00:35 GMT

As horrible as everything's been lately, people make me happy.

Sat, 27 Dec 2008 04:11:51 GMT

I simply cannot grasp that the year is already ending.

I guess I'm only getting older and less interesting.

Sat, 20 Dec 2008 21:09:18 GMT

Life, FTW.

Just a thought.

Fri, 19 Dec 2008 20:14:15 GMT

I wish I were five again.
When the only kind of tough decisions came down to whether I wanted to color or if I wanted to read.
And the only major disappointment was when it was too rainy to go outside.
And my family still loved eachother.

Growing up is the worst.

Life in a nutshell.

Mon, 15 Dec 2008 08:19:08 GMT

Just a little update.

Things in my life right now:

+ Girl's night crunk, Sunday edition.
+ Being full of Chicken!
+ Womanizer, womanizer, you're a womanizer.
+/- The Holidays.
+ Going on Holiday
+ Working it out.
- Feeling like shit, because you wont meet me halfway.
+ Being able to work over it, because at least you'll try.
+ Penny Lane
- Almost being puked on.
+/- Efrem.
+ My Honda Metropolitan, BITCHES! (Dude, I don't give a fuck what people think, my moped is sweet!)
- Being creeped out over AIM.
+ Signs.

that is all

Tue, 09 Sep 2008 22:00:20 GMT

I think Im more excited to be leaving Virginia than anything else.

3 weeks and counting.

Tue, 09 Sep 2008 12:23:42 GMT

I will never get that wasted again.

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 09:14:58 GMT

I wish I had more to say.

Sat, 05 Apr 2008 19:48:56 GMT

Hate hate hate hate.
That's all I have anymore.

I can't wait to move.

Thu, 19 Jul 2007 20:47:16 GMT

live, love, learn

Tue, 12 Jun 2007 20:25:12 GMT

If I wanted to hang out on Addison St. and hang out with Ashley and all those dumb kids I would have stayed with Chris
THE END

Nothing else too exciting has happpened lately

Wed, 30 May 2007 05:47:46 GMT

Today is gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you gotta do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you now

Backbeat the word was on the street
That the fire in your heart is out
I'm sure you've heard it all before
But you never really had a doubt
I don't believe that anybody feels
The way I do about you now

And all the roads we have to walk along are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would
Like to say to you
I don't know how

Because maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me ?
And after all
You're my wonderwall

Today was gonna be the day?
But they'll never throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you're not to do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do
About you now

And all the roads that lead to you were winding
And all the lights that light the way are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you
I don't know how

I said maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me ?
And after all
You're my wonderwall

I said maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me ?
And after an
You're my wonderwall

Said maybe
You're gonna be the one that saves me
You're gonna be the one that saves me
You're gonna be the one that saves me

changes.

Fri, 18 May 2007 22:24:23 GMT

I filled in the stars and got an addition to my piercings Thank you belly button.

and new hair!